For generations my family has been improving  the quality of life for individuals through our patents.   It all began with Tobias van Geelen, my grandfather.  He was the impressive man who invented  the Waterfowl Cloak for the army in 1932.

In 1968, the year I was born, mother invented Baby Wrap. Many believe this invention laid the groundwork for modern disposable diapers.  And so it seemed destined from the moment of my birth  that I, too, would one day invent great things.

I was a very inquisitive child, spending all of my free time  experimenting in the family laboratory.   Even before I could write a patent myself, I had already invented  the Baby Brother Vanishing Ray at the age of 6…

In 2003 I collaborated with a Brazilian firm on my brainchild.  My See No. Hair No. Smell No. device, a clean-burning butane  ear hair removal system, was a cosmetological breakthrough.  My future looked bright.

Then, in a sudden burst of clarity, I realized I had lost sight of  the proverbial “forest” for all of its litigious “trees.” I wasn’t put on this planet to save people; I was put on this planet to save planets. (Besides, planets don’t sue people – people sue people.)  My mission became crystal clear: fix the forest, not the trees. And all I would need is a global team to bring  this ambitious enterprise to fruition.

I’m not kidding. The unique inventions in the following chapter are yours to take  and build upon, à la opensource and freeware. Each of my free inventions offers a solid blueprint for a sustainable future on Earth and beyond, leaving just a few minor details to be sorted out through your R&D.  Finally, I can sit back, free of any liability whatsoever,  and watch as my unique vision reshapes the planet.